of sweat and tears

it’s been a while. the last few days seemed to be the longest in my life. filled with sweat and tears. i’d expected the sweat. but i didn’t expect the tears tho, and they came fast and furious.

the sweat..
now that the hustings r over, i can breathe a sigh of relief. i never thot five years ago when i had to do this, that i would do the same thing again five years on. it’s crazy, and demotivating. but yes, there i was involved in the hustings again. except that this time round it was much much more physical, and much much more intense. we were nearly running the whole show, which was ridiculous considering that we were not even residents there! then again it was not surprising, seeing the ‘calibre’ of the leader there… i would not even be doing this if not for the fact that it’s part of my jd. so….what to do….just do lor… i sure hope i wont be around in the organization when it comes to the next hustings tho…

the tears…
it’s heartbreaking if someone were to tell you that he’s just not that crazy for you any more. what do you do when that happens? do you give up and call it quits? or do you work at it till he changes his mind? but what about the hurt? how does one recover from that?

more tears…
my dear cousin passed away on po.lli.ng day. rushed to the scene as soon as we heard..after subuh. seeing his body there just broke my heart. and breaking the news to my aunts, uncles and cousins is something i hope to never repeat ever. but this is life, and those living now are bound to leave us sooner or later. all we can do now is pray, hadiahkan alfatehah to the arwah. may he rest in peace, insyaallah.

i’ve cried so much i thot the tears would have dried up, but still they came. it’s hard work not to just wail out in agony, but that is something we MUST NOT do, so all there is to show for the searing grief in our hearts are the tears that kept streaming down our faces. before dia dikapankan, we took turns to bid him farewell, taburing pacai on his face. it was heartbreaking seeing my grandfather, who nearly collapsed out of grief. to think he had to bury two of his grandsons….

tomorrow wd have been his 20th befday. to arwah hafiz, semoga rohmu dicucuri rahmat, amin ya rabbal alamin...