of balls, politics, and me

the world cup’s coming! the very idea of it is giving me orgasms. wait a minute, what do i know abt orgasms?? hehhe. but seriously, i’m relishing the idea of watching match after match in the wee hours of the day…and going to the office all groggy and stoned, or hyper and revved up, depending on how the matches went. the only bummer is that there’s not a single soccer fan to be found among the female colleagues around me (damm!). how is one supposed to gush abt the incredible save made by the goalie or that pinpoint cross which resulted in the goal? at least it was better four years ago. true the male colleagues around me then were soccer idiots. but at least they were interested enough to place bets on matches and had to consult the one-with-all-the-answers (that would be me..ahem) for tips. but nevermind..the world cup is coming! right now, i have no favourites, though i have to admit that england’s pretty close to my heart (duck!). but hey….forgive me for being lame but it’s kinda difficult not to have a soft spot for that country, seeing as to how i’ve been fed a weekly diet of epl matches for years on end. i wouldn’t mind seeing the underdogs go far though, so i’ll definitely be rooting for them. woohoo!

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heard through the grapevine that more people will be leaving the company. which is sad, for me of cos, not for them. i’m always happy for my colleagues who are leaving, cos they’re usually leaving for greener pastures. but i’m sad for me, cos i’m still here. you’d think 2-3 years would be enough for me to gain the experience and move on. but no, here i am still, 5 years down the road.

i remembered being all fired up to do my job. where else can one get the opportunity to sit across the table from the gm or ceo and negotiate on an even field? the satisfaction i got from getting what i set out to have at the start of negotiations, was immense. i knew then that i was making a difference, that whatever i do had a direct impact on people.

and then i got posted out. because of the damm rotation policy. and now i’m doing something that is so big-picture, so macro, that the end results are lost to me. it’s demotivating. and it doesn’t help when you see the company going all out to recruit dozens of people to do the job that you wanted to do. why are they spending so much money recruiting and training these newbies when here, their trained personnel (me, and my other colleagues who are also rotated out) are put to waste languishing in jobs that ‘interest’ them to bits?

and then there’s the politicking. i know that the powers that be are good at what they’re doing, but i cant stand the holier-than-thou attitude. the ‘form vs substance’ argument, though valid, smacks of arrogance. you have no time to deal with the masses because you have bigger things to worry about? hello? yes jobs are important, and without jobs we singaporeans are doomed. but we do want our politicians to have time to listen to our troubles. because they are OUR troubles, and we’re facing them. thank you for making singapore competitive and bringing jobs so that i can survive, but at the moment i’m facing this particular problem and it’s bothering the hell out of me and isn’t that precisely why i am turning to you? cos you’re supposed to represent me, and i’d love to solve my problems myself but it’s precisely because i’m desperate that i’ve turned to you for help. so forgive me if i’m caught up with all the ‘form’ – being able to see my mp when i want to, instead of focusing on the ‘substance’.

ok i’m venting. i need to find a solution to my current disillusionment. fast.

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i’m one year closer to 30 today. i suppose if i make myself real detached from things, that i’ll realize that i have lots of things to be thankful for. i’m a year older aren’t i? the last few years especially, have seen me blossom into someone i like. someone with a more positive outlook on life, someone who’s more easygoing, someone who’s less inclined to sweat the small stuffs.

so…here’s to ME. happy befday gal!