being a friend | MY guy

I’ve not been a good friend.

I’d thought, wrongly, that a friend tells it as it is, warts and all.

So if i think that my friend is making a mistake by jumping into her marriage without really knowing the guy and without even being in love with him, I’ll tell my friend so because, hey, it’s my duty to wake her up from the dream even if she refuses to see the harsh reality for herself.

And if, after the wedding, my friend comes running to me with her problems and wonders if she should leave the marriage, my instant reaction would be to encourage her to leave it cos she’s miserable enough as it is and hey, wouldn’t one want one’s friends to be happy in their lives?

I’ve realized that I’ve been wrong. I should have just listened to her whines and woes, cos that’s what friends do – be the listening ear. What I should NOT do is to offer my 5cents worth (cant give 2cents cos no more 1cent coins liao). Cos decisions such as that can only be made by the person herself, and friends and families have no right to impose their thoughts and opinions on the matter. And if she chooses to make the marriage work, then as a friend I should stand by her. Support her. Give positive comments instead of making snide remarks on the state of affairs or make barbed comments on the husband.

To my friend who might be reading this if she’s not too busy with her latest distraction (hehhe): I’m sorry. Will promise to just be your listening ear from now on. And hey, all the best in yet another new chapter in yr life!

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I saw the folly of my ways after reading this book.

I wasn’t exactly enthusiastic in getting the book, the cover looks too chick-lit for my liking. But the prologue got me hooked, and although I was there with the primary aim of only buying the books that were on discount, I ended up adding this (no discounts!) to my buys instead. And it’s been worth it. This is not the normal kind of chick-lit where you lap it up immediately and forget about the story the next day. But this is different. This is the kind that makes you think thoughts which still lingers days after you’ve read it.

"They say there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, but there is. A perfect marriage is one where two people live together for most of their lives until death separates them. What there is no such thing as is an easy marriage. And when it comes to love, we sometimes believe it should happen with ease"

This is for all of us out there who keeps wondering if our partner is THE one.

The most important take from the book for me:
Spider is not the right guy. He is not the wrong guy either. He is just MY guy. The one I have chosen to be with for the rest of my life. The one who WILL be spending the rest of my life with me, insyaAllah.

I’m looking forward to it.