those 2 weeks

My grandfather was hospitalized on 11 april 2007, after a bad fall in the toilet. He suffered a stroke on his left side of his body. I wasn’t prepared for the scene that greeted me when I visited him in hospital that day. Gone was the strong, dignified-looking man who had the whole family – all 12 children, god knows how many grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren, under his command. He was a pale version of his old self. He was very weak, his vision was blurred, his speech incoherent at times. He was totally dependent on others to move around, even if moving means lifting his leg, or scratching an itch, or changing his body position in bed. I was heartbroken. I was humbled. Such is the power of God – to reduce a man to such a state.

And then a few days later, on Saturday 14 april 2007, my grandmother, his wife, passed away.

She passed away peacefully, while in her sleep. It was mid-afternoon, and I was bringing the laundry in when I received the news. It took some frantic calls before it was confirmed. Yes, my grandmother, my beloved grandmother, has passed away. Who would have thought? While we were all concerned with my grandfather, it was her who was taken away from us first.

In retrospect, it was perhaps fortunate that she passed away when she did. If my grandfather were not hospitalized, we would probably not get to see her in her last few days. It’s precisely because of our daily hospital visits that all her children staying in Singapore, most of her grandchildren, and all her great-grandkids got to see her in her last few days. Alhamdulillah. Whoever would have thought that that huge hug I gave her that Friday night would be the last with her ever?

It has been difficult these few days. I suppose the whole family’s not been able to go through the whole cycle of grief cos we have our grandfather still to look after. So we soldiered on. Even while her body was on the way to be buried, some of us were accompanying our grandfather back to hospital. And keeping him company there, which meant that we were not around to accept all the condolences passed our way. We act like things are normal. We talk positive and sound positive. Just so we could lift up our grandfather’s sagging spirits, so he can get better.

But we can’t be there all the time, and we feel guilty for it. I feel guilty when I leave him at night at the hospital, but life has to go on. And then I feel selfish for thinking that. Which makes me feel guilty all over again.

But really, the best thing I can do for him, and for my arwah grandmother, is to pray for them. Pray that my grandfather gets well soon and is blessed with good health for many years to come. And sedekahkan al-fateha to my arwah grandmother, semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat.

Alhamdulillah, my grandfather appears to be getting out of the melancholy that’s been engulfing him the past week. All might soon be well, insyaAllah….

the off-peak warriors

Read abt the opc phenomenon in st the other day (opc = off-peak cars. These cars can only be used from 7pm-7am on weekdays, from 3pm on Saturdays, and the whole day on Sundays). Apparently there are now 25,000 of such cars on the road today, more than 3 times the figure just a decade ago. I remembered way back when the opc was first introduced, my dad bought himself a brand new opc car – a proton saga. We called it the ‘batman’ car, cos it can only move about at night. We had the proton for only a while – that was a period when my dad was changing cars like he was changing his shirts. I thought the opc phenomenon had died down, cos we didn’t see many of those on the roads back then. Which made sense cos even an opc car then would have cost a bomb – the coe prices then were not as low as they are now. With coe prices at record lows now, an opc car could cost as low as $25,000 (for smaller models like d kelisa). which makes it all the more affordable now. which would also explain the rise in the number of opc cars on the road.

Our swift is an opc, and we’re damm happy with it. Some have asked why we had bought an opc when we could jolly well afford a ‘normal’ one, and our response has always been: “why not?”

We got a straight $17,000 discount off the price because it’s an opc. And our road tax is just a mere $80 compared to the $880 that we’d have to fork out every year if it’s ‘normal’. I don’t drive to work - there’s no way I would do that cos parking would cost me $250 a month (yes my office parking is EXPENSIVE, even for staff), and that’s before all the erp and cbd charges that I’d have to pay. And spider doesn’t need to drive cos he has his trusty bike which he would still insist on riding even if we have a ‘normal’ car. By the time we go anywhere, it’d be after 7 anyway, when we can use the car. And even then, we sometimes take the bike cos riding on the triumph is just so nice and parking is never a headache with a bike, right?

Which begs the question: why do we even get a car in the first place?? :P

Well, the car does come in handy when we have stuffs to carry. Like when we do our groceries. Or when we do our shopping. Or when we had to transport my stuffs from my home in simei to cg. And it comes in handy when we’re driving people around, like my mil for instance, or my nieces and nephews, or even my own brothers. And it comes in handy when we’re tired and don’t feel like riding on the bike – cos riding on a bike requires a lot of concentration from you yah, not to say driving doesn’t lah, but it’s relatively easier.

There are instances when you need to use the car during the ‘peak’ hours though, and that’s when the opc coupons come in. these coupons cost $20 each, and they look real ugly cos they’re huge and gaudy. But that’s precisely their purpose I suppose, since they’re meant to be spotted easily on the roads.

All in, we’re very happy with our opc. It does the work, and most importantly, it’s cheap! My only wish is that they allow the cars to be used on Saturdays from 7am onwards, instead of from 3pm onwards as is currently the case. That would be happiness! :)

it's summons time!

A few months ago, during the hari raya season, my mil was feeling rather thirsty, and badly needed something to drink. So my bil stopped the car at the side of the road and went to the 7-11 nearby to get her something to drink. A cisco officer came along, saw the car, and promptly went ahead to make a summons, totally ignoring my mil in the car who was desperately trying to catch his attention by calling out to him and waving her hands at him. Now we have no qualms with the fine – we did something wrong (parking at a double yellow line, even if for a really short time for a perfectly good reason with a person still in the car, is definitely WRONG) so we ought to be fined for that, but what really pissed us off was the attitude and behaviour of the officer. He was clearly bent on making the summons, and was so ‘intent’ on his job that even the cries of a helpless old lady in the car would not move him. What if my mil was crying to him for help?? Would he have helped her, or would he ignore her as he did then? My bet is on the latter.

This morning, we decided to have our breakfast at the cheese prata shop, beside fong seng. There were many cars parked along the road, though there were jagged yellow lines, but that’s ok (or so we thought) cos apart from the cars parked there and the occasional traffic, the road’s close to empty. What do you know, a few minutes into our breakfast, our friendly cicso guy comes along in his trusty scooter to give summons to all and sundry. It was irritating. Damm irritating. Yes technically the cars weren’t supposed to be parked there, but were they obstructing traffic? What traffic?? It was a lazy Friday morning, a public holiday morning, and there was definitely no heavy traffic. You know…once upon a time there used to be this little thing called “give and take”, but this is non-existent in the vocabulary of those cisco guys. To them, the more summons they make, the better. Probably cos they’re paid according to the number of summonses they make. And so I’m bloody pissed.

And what about the incident a few days ago of the guy who were harassed by 2 cisco officers which was reported in the papers? Apparently the guy caught the officers parking their vehicle illegally, and so proceeded to take a picture of the offending vehicle with his camera. What do you know, the 2 officers then confronted him and insisted that he delete the photo. The guy refused though, cos he insisted that it was within his right to take photos in a public area, and he stood his ground (yeyy for him!). the cicso guys kept harassing him, and threatened to call the police. In fact, both parties threatened to call the police (again, yeyy for the guy!!), and so the police were called in. to cut the story short, the police ruled that the guy did nothing wrong by taking the picture as it’s in a public place, but that the cisco guys did nothing wrong either for parking the vehicle illegally cos they were allowed to do that in the course of their work.

My beef is this: why did the cisco guys act in such a high-handed manner, insisting that the photo be deleted?? They knew they did nothing wrong by parking their vehicle where they did, so why should they harass the guy? My only conclusion: they did that because they thought they could. They thought wearing the uniform gives them the power to incite fear in others. If I were in the guy’s shoes, my guess is I would prolly meekly heed the officers’ requests, thinking that I’d done something wrong. Or even if I thought I did nothing wrong, I would still accede to the officers’ demands cos I just wont want to aggravate matters. So I’m mighty proud of that guy who bravely stood his ground. We need more of him around so that the powers that be, real or otherwise, would not indiscriminately inflict their powers on us. So yes…YEYYYY for him!!

hippy me | domestic helpers

I just read somewhere that cg was once voted singapore’s hippiest spot by a prominent female magazine. Hmmmmm…so I’m a hippy eh? Hehhhe

Anyways, theres been a bit of a buzz around the place lately, what with the government’s plans to reconvert the place to a hostel..and the petition put up by the residents, including us. We’re kind of unaffected actually cos we know we wont be staying there for long….but there’s no harm in lending your support to the common good yah. Though at times it does feel a bit sayang to know that the place will not be available to us for much longer, should we choose to renew our lease. We’ve decided not to have the wooden platforms at the yard cos our stay’s there not permanent anyway – it’s just gonna be money down the drain.

Both of us have been wanting to start on a little project of ours, but we’ve not gotten around to doing it yet. Which is frustrating. But there are tons of things to do at home, and by the time we reach home it’s already late and all we have time for is to eat and vege at the couch. And there’s nothing much we can do during weekends either, cos our relatives keep popping by to spend time there since they love the place so much. Not that I’m complaining – like I said previously, I love it when there are people at my place. but sometimes you just want to be left alone yah so that you can finally unpack all those boxes and do up the place properly.

I still want to do the project though. Let’s hope we’ll find some time this long weekend to finally do it.

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Read about the plight of domestic helpers in the papers last weekend, and it just pains my heart. Many of them have sacrificed being with their husband and kids so that they can earn enough to keep the family going. If only we can start according them the same respect as we accord all other professions. They’re here to work, not to be slaves. What is so wrong with giving them enough food to eat? Can you survive on just one slice of bread a day? I cant fathom the doings of some of us sometimes. And what about the often debated issue of giving some time off to your maids? Do YOU want to be locked up in your office the whole time you’re working there, even if the office is equipped with all the comforts of home? If you cant stand the idea of that, why should your helpers be treated any different?

This brings to mind a lengthy email that I sent to my boss – the big boss, about two years back. I’ve never written to him at this length before, but I was compelled to let him know how I felt cos I felt really strongly about it:

Hi [big boss],

Thought HRW did the right thing by releasing the report. Yes Singapore got some negative publicity from it, but I personally feel that many Singaporeans need to be given a jolt to wake them up to what's happening. It might just be that the report is blowing up the issue, and that instances of maid abuse might be considerably lesser than reported. However, this should not stop us from acknowledging that there is a problem.

It's just shameful that some maids here are treated the way they are - no off days, waking up before the rest of the family and working the whole day through till everyone has gone to bed, being shouted at for every wrong thing they do..the list goes on (and I've not even included instances of physical abuse!). Some Singaporeans think they 'own' their maids because they've paid good money for them. Many fail to realise that these workers are just that - workers, and should be treated as such, just like how Singaporeans as workers themselves would want to be treated by their companies.

As the [………………………….….], we should not be silent on this. We have the […........], but perhaps we might want to be more vocal in this issue? There was a guideline by Case(?) that suggests that maids be given 1 day off a month - perhaps [we] can push for that to be a statutory requirement instead. Yes abuses of this requirement would be hard to monitor, but at least something is in place to protect the maids. One recommendation made by the HRW report - that the $5,000 bond be removed, might be a good idea. Singapore employers paranoid of losing the $5k bond and hence impose ridiculously strict restrictions on their maids might then have less of a case to do so if there's no bond to lose.

One simple step which could go some way is to stop referring to these workers as 'maids' - the term is loaded with too many negative connotations. Many hv started using the term Foreign Domestic Workers (FDWs), but this is too much of a mouthful to be effective. Perhaps we can start referring to them as 'domestic helpers', or 'hired help' instead?

Just my 2-cents' worth...